Butterfly Girl Season 4: God is Present in the Becoming

Next Sunday, July 5, Season 4 of the Butterfly Girl Podcast begins.

As I have spent the past several months praying, writing, recording, and preparing for this season, I have found myself reflecting on just how much can change in a relatively short period of time.

This past year has been one of tremendous growth in my own life. It has also been a year marked by grief, transition, new beginnings, uncertainty, healing, and countless reminders that God is still at work, even when life feels unfinished.

Perhaps that is why the theme for this new season emerged so naturally. Living the Transformation: From Wound to Wholeness.

For much of my life, I viewed healing as a destination. I believed that if I worked hard enough, prayed hard enough, attended enough therapy sessions, or simply waited long enough, eventually I would arrive at a place where the wounds no longer hurt, the questions disappeared, and everything finally made sense.
I imagined healing as an ending.

What I have discovered instead is that healing is often a way of living. There is no finish line where we suddenly become perfectly whole. There is no moment when grief permanently disappears, fear never returns, or we stop needing God.

Instead, there is a lifelong invitation to continue becoming. To continue healing. To continue trusting. To continue allowing God to transform us. And honestly, that realization has been both humbling and freeing because it means that we do not have to wait until we have everything figured out before we begin living fully. We do not have to be completely healed before God can use us. We do not have to hide the unfinished parts of our stories. This season was born from that truth.

Over the coming weeks, we will have honest conversations about authenticity, grief, identity, faith, trust, prayer, community, and what it means to live fully alive in God while still carrying wounds, questions, and unresolved pieces of our stories. We will talk about learning to live unhidden. We will explore the difference between performing faith and experiencing God as a loving companion. We will examine how suffering can shape us without defining us. And throughout it all, we will return again and again to the truth that God is present in the becoming.

One of the reasons I chose the butterfly as the symbol for this podcast last year is because transformation has always resonated deeply with me. A butterfly does not emerge instantly. There is hidden work. There is waiting. There are long seasons when nothing appears to be happening. Yet, beneath the surface, transformation is unfolding.

I suspect many find themselves in seasons like that.

This past year and a half has reinforced the reality that some of life's most significant transformations occur quietly and often imperceptibly. Growth rarely happens in dramatic moments. More often, it unfolds through ordinary days, difficult conversations, honest prayer, grief, therapy, journaling, and the simple decision to continue showing up.

There have been seasons in my own life when healing felt painfully slow. Seasons when little appeared to be changing and when questions seemed to outnumber answers. In looking back, it has become clear that God was often doing His deepest work during those very times.

Transformation rarely announces itself. More often, it unfolds quietly beneath the surface.

It unfolds in choosing authenticity over performance, in learning to trust again after disappointment, in receiving love after years of self-protection, in speaking truth after years of silence, and in allowing oneself to be fully known.

The older I become, the more convinced I am that wholeness is not the absence of wounds. Rather, wholeness is learning to live with openness, hope, and trust while allowing God to continually transform those wounds into places of grace.

That is the heart of this season.

My hope for Living the Transformation: From Wound to Wholeness is that it will offer encouragement to those who are still becoming. My hope is that these conversations will serve as a reminder that healing is possible, that growth often occurs in hidden places, and that God remains present even in the unfinished parts of our stories.

Returning to Ordinary Life...Listening to Where God Leads

Nine weeks away from work felt both incredibly long and surprisingly brief. When I returned to work on June 1 after being off for nine weeks, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. Recovery has a way of changing us. Stepping back into the familiar routines of my role as Communications Specialist with Core Technology Services felt both comforting and strange at the same time.

Now, nearly a month later, I can honestly say that returning to ordinary life has been a gift. There is something sacred about ordinary life. The emails. The meetings. The projects. The conversations with colleagues. The simple rhythms that make up our days.

During those nine weeks away, I missed those routines more than I expected. Recovery slowed life down in ways I had not anticipated and gave me space to notice things I often overlook when life is moving quickly.

Looking back, I realize that ordinary life is anything but ordinary. Even while I was away from work, life remained wonderfully full.

One of the greatest joys of these past several weeks has been completing the audiobook version of Light Still Stands. Hearing the story come to life in an entirely new format has been both exciting and deeply emotional. This novel carries so many themes that are close to my heart: healing, faith, grief, hope, community, and the reminder that even when life feels uncertain, God's light continues to stand. It has been humbling to watch this story continue finding new readers and, soon, new listeners.

At the same time, I have been busy planning Season 4 of the Butterfly Girl Podcast: Living the Transformation: From Wound to Wholeness. This season feels especially meaningful because it explores what happens after survival, after surrender, and after the beginning stages of healing. We often celebrate dramatic moments of transformation, but real healing usually unfolds slowly in ordinary days, quiet choices, lingering questions, and the ongoing work of becoming. I am incredibly grateful for the guests who will be joining me this season and for the opportunity to continue these honest conversations about faith, grief, identity, trust, healing, and hope.

Another unexpected blessing has been receiving invitations to be a guest on a variety of other podcasts. Each invitation feels both humbling and deeply personal. Sharing my story has never been about telling my story simply for its own sake. Rather, it has always been about creating space for others to recognize that they are not alone, that healing is possible, and that our wounds do not have the final word.

Every conversation is an opportunity to remind someone that hope still exists. And then there is the surprise I did not see coming.

When I began recovering, I had absolutely no intention of starting my second novel, When the Bells Ring Again, the second book in the Light Still Stands trilogy. In fact, I fully intended to wait until 2027 to begin it. But stories have a way of refusing to remain silent.

Characters kept showing up in my thoughts. Scenes replayed themselves over and over in my mind. Conversations between Clara, Micah, Lily, and Noah seemed to unfold while I was resting, walking, or trying to sleep. The words were swirling around in my head, and eventually, I realized I simply needed to start writing the draft.

So I did.

What began as a few notes quickly became chapters. Then more chapters. Before long, I found myself once again immersed in the lives of characters who have come to feel like old friends.

Sometimes God surprises us by placing new invitations before us precisely when we think we are supposed to be resting.

As June comes to a close, I find myself carrying a renewed sense of gratitude.
Gratitude for healing that continues.
Gratitude for meaningful work.
Gratitude for stories.
Gratitude for conversations.
Gratitude for creativity.
Gratitude for community.

And gratitude for the gentle ways God continues to lead, even when the path ahead looks different than we expected.

Ordinary life has returned, and I am grateful to be living it once again.

Healing and Hope Begin with a Brave Voice

There are moments in life that feel almost impossible to fully describe with words. After months of writing, editing, revising, praying, waiting, hoping, and anticipating, that is exactly how I feel as Ellie Finds Her Brave Voice is finally becoming real.

For so long, this book existed quietly in drafts, notes, late-night ideas, and whispered prayers. There were moments of excitement, moments of uncertainty, and many moments where I simply had to trust the process and keep moving forward one page at a time. To now hold this story in my hands and watch it prepare to enter the world feels both surreal and deeply emotional.

Ellie Finds Her Brave Voice was written from a place very close to my heart. It is a story about courage, safety, healing, trusted adults, and helping children understand that their voices matter. My hope is that this book helps children feel seen, protected, empowered, and reminded that they are never alone.

This book also carries a deeply personal dedication. Ellie Finds Her Brave Voice is dedicated to Mary Ann, who was my therapist and dear friend for nearly 15 years until her passing on May 20, 2025. There are some people who quietly change the course of your life simply by helping you believe that your voice deserves to exist. Mary Ann was one of those people for me.

Through some of the hardest moments of my life, she created a space where I could slowly learn what safety, trust, healing, and honesty looked like. She helped me recognize that surviving was not the same as living, and that finding healing often begins by finally allowing yourself to speak the truths you once felt too afraid to say aloud. Over time, she helped me become brave enough to find my own voice.

That journey is woven quietly throughout this story.

While Mary Ann helped me find my voice, there were also many others who walked beside me throughout my healing journey and who continue to support me even today. Healing is rarely something we experience alone. Along the way, God placed compassionate people in my life who listened, encouraged, prayed, and reminded me that I was never abandoned in the midst of my struggles. Some helped through words, while others simply offered their presence, kindness, patience, and willingness to stay. Each person became part of the story of learning that healing is possible, hope can return, and brave voices can grow stronger over time.

While Ellie’s story is fictional, the heart behind it is very real. The themes of courage, safe adults, healing, and learning to speak up were shaped not only by my own experiences, but also by the compassion and encouragement of the people who have helped guide me throughout the years. In many ways, this book exists because others helped me believe that healing and hope were possible.

One of the most meaningful moments throughout this entire journey came when I received permission from Erin Merryn to use the Erin's Law Foundation logo within the book. Honestly, it is difficult to put that feeling into words. It was one of those moments where gratitude, disbelief, humility, joy, and overwhelming emotion all seemed to exist together at once. Knowing that someone whose advocacy has helped protect countless children believed enough in this project to allow that partnership was an honor far beyond anything I could have imagined.

For those unfamiliar, Erin’s Law is named after survivor and advocate Erin Merryn, who courageously shared her own story to help prevent child abuse through education and awareness. Erin’s Law encourages age-appropriate personal body safety education in schools, helping children understand boundaries, safe and unsafe touch, trusted adults, and how to speak up if something does not feel right. Today, Erin’s Law has been passed in most states across the United States, helping bring prevention education and awareness to millions of children.

Because this mission matters so deeply to me, 100% of the proceeds from Ellie Finds Her Brave Voice will benefit the Erin’s Law Foundation and its continued work protecting children, supporting survivors, and helping schools and families create safer environments for young people.

In many ways, this book is more than a story. It is a prayer. It is hope placed onto pages. It is a reminder that brave voices matter, healing matters, and children deserve to feel safe, heard, believed, and loved. For me personally, it is also a quiet thank you to the people who helped me find the courage to speak, heal, and keep moving forward even when the journey felt overwhelming.

Thank you, Mary Ann. Thank you to everyone who has walked beside me throughout my healing journey and continues to do so today. Thank you to every person who prayed for this project, encouraged me, supported its mission, and believed in this story long before it was ever finished.

After months of carrying this story in my heart, I cannot fully express the joy of finally watching Ellie Finds Her Brave Voice begin its journey into the world.