Happiness is an Inside Job

This morning I sent a text after a photo popped up on my Facebook Memories. It was from five years
ago - me preparing to burn my old journals. I remember how much resistance I felt at the time, clinging to those pages filled with pain, confusion, and old versions of myself. It was Mary Ann’s firm yet loving encouragement that gave me the courage to let go. She reminded me that healing doesn’t mean forgetting, but choosing to release what no longer serves the soul. I only agreed to the burning after reading through them one last time, a ritual of both remembering and releasing.

Shortly after I sent that text, I received a reply from Ray, Mary Ann’s son. He shared that he’s having a sticker made with a ladybug and the words, “Happiness is an inside job.” His timing felt like no coincidence. That phrase was one of Mary Ann’s constant refrains . . . her way of reminding me that happiness is not handed to me by others or dependent on circumstances, but grown from within. The ashes of those journals, heavy as they were, became the soil where healing could take root. And the ladybug, small and bright, symbolizes the joy that emerges once that hard work of release has been done.

For ten years, Mary Ann was my therapist. She was steady, wise, and unwavering in her belief that I could grow through even the hardest struggles. Over time, she became more than a therapist; she became my friend. She never sugarcoated the truth. She taught me that healing doesn’t come quickly or easily, but through hard work. It was through showing up, digging deep, and doing the uncomfortable things that ultimately set the soul free.

She also had another favorite saying: “Shift Happens.” At first, it always made me smile with its playfulness and play on words, but the meaning ran much deeper. Life changes. Sometimes in ways we choose, sometimes in ways we don’t. Healing requires leaning into those shifts, allowing ourselves to transform rather than resist. That phrase became so important to me that I had it tattooed on my forearm, a permanent reminder that change is inevitable, and with it comes growth if I am willing to embrace it.

The ladybug, the butterfly, and Mary Ann’s wisdom all speak to the same truth. The ladybug whispers of joy in small moments. The butterfly reminds me that transformation requires struggle, darkness, and patience before wings can unfold. And Mary Ann’s words remind me that both happiness and healing are inside jobs, born from courage and hard work.

Now, as I continue my own journey, I see how much of her wisdom lives in me. I hear her words when I start looking outward for validation. I remember her laugh when I forget to notice the little blessings in front of me. And I carry her lessons with me everyday: that happiness is an inside job, that shift always happens, and that transformation is worth the struggle. They remind me that healing is hard work, but also that new life, joy, and freedom can emerge if I trust the process, just as the butterfly trusts its wings.

When Ladybugs Whisper and Butterflies Rise

A ladybug lands, a quiet sign,
Happiness blooms from the heart, not the line.
Not in the world, nor the praise that I seek,
But inside my soul, steady and meek.

A butterfly stirs where shadows reside,
Shift happens, transformation inside.
The struggle, the waiting, the breaking apart,
Are the very beginnings of wings for the heart.
 
Ladybug whispers of joy in the small,
Butterfly teaches to rise after fall.
Together they tell me of work and of grace,
Of healing that happens in time and in place.
 
Mary Ann’s wisdom still lives in my day:
Happiness is an inside job – choose it, I pray.
Shift happens, change comes, and courage takes flight,
From cocoon into freedom, from shadow to light.