The readings themselves set the stage for awe and humility. Isaiah encounters the holiness of God and recognizes his own unworthiness. The psalmist wrestles honestly with doubt, confusion, and the temptation to lose heart. Saint Paul reminds us that it is grace, not our own effort, that raises us from death to life. And in Matthew’s Gospel, the Magi follow a star into the unknown and discover not a king clothed in power, but a child whose presence quietly changes everything.
As Father Luke reflected on the actions of the Magi, I found myself realizing how closely their journey mirrors my own over the past year, especially since moving to North Dakota in April and returning to Illinois over the holidays. What once felt like a practical relocation has slowly revealed itself as a deeper spiritual pilgrimage, one marked by discernment, courage, and real interior change.
The Magi first set out, leaving the comfort of their lives without knowing exactly where they were going. Since moving in April, I have learned how unsettling and sacred that kind of departure can be. Leaving meant releasing familiar rhythms, relationships, and the quiet confidence that comes from knowing how life works. I arrived in a new place without everything figured out, trusting that God was already present ahead of me. That lesson deepened during my visit to Illinois over the holidays. Returning to familiar places did not mean returning to who I once was. I felt the pull of nostalgia alongside the quiet awareness of how much I have grown. Setting out, I am learning, is not a one-time decision. Sometimes it means choosing again not to step back into patterns that no longer lead to life, even when they feel safe or familiar.
Along the way, the Magi asked questions and sought wisdom rather than pretending to have all the answers. Since April, I have learned how necessary that posture is. Moving required me to ask for help, to admit uncertainty, and to listen more attentively to God and to trusted people. During my time in Illinois, those questions became more personal and more difficult. Why do certain situations leave me anxious or depleted? What am I being asked to release? Where is God inviting me to choose health over habit? These questions did not lead to easy answers, but they did bring clarity. I am learning that God is not threatened by honest questioning and often uses it to draw us toward freedom and truth.
When Herod attempted to manipulate the Magi, they refused to comply, choosing fidelity over fear. Father Luke’s reminder that faith sometimes requires holy defiance resonated deeply with me, especially during my holiday visit. Being back revealed dynamics and expectations that once felt unavoidable but now felt misaligned with the healing God has been doing in me. I had to make intentional choices to create distance from certain situations. That distance was not rooted in anger or rejection, but in faithfulness to the work God has been doing in my heart. Going upstream has meant saying no to guilt-driven expectations and yes to emotional and spiritual health. Like the Magi, I am learning that obedience to God sometimes requires quiet, firm defiance.
The Magi’s journey ultimately led them to worship. Since moving, worship has become less about routine and more about refuge. In seasons of transition and emotional intensity, prayer has grounded me. During the holidays, when emotions surfaced and old wounds felt close, returning to Mass and prayer reminded me where my true peace lies. In worship, I have learned to bring my whole self, not just the parts that are composed or strong. The Eucharist has become a place where I can lay down what I cannot carry and receive grace instead. In Eucharistic adoration and quiet prayer, I am reminded who God is and who I am. I was made to worship, to receive, and to be restored.
Finally, the Magi went home by a different route. An encounter with the living God always changes direction. It has been made clear to me that I am not the same person who began this journey eight months ago, even though some of the groundwork has been coming together for years. The changes I have made are not about resolutions or self-improvement. They are about transformation. Choosing distance, setting boundaries, and letting go of certain dynamics has reshaped how I understand friendship, family, and faith. Going home by a different route has meant honoring the growth God has given me, even when that growth includes grief or loss. My prayer life has deepened, and my trust in God has become quieter, steadier, and more real.
Epiphany reminds me that God reveals Himself so that we may be changed. Like the Magi, I did not set out simply to travel or to return unchanged. I set out to encounter Christ. And in that encounter, I am learning to let the Lord continue changing my heart, leading me, gently and faithfully, home by a different way.

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